“The amateur continuously rates himself in relation to others, becoming self-inflated if his fortunes rise, and desperately anxious if his star should fall. The amateur craves third-party validation.” Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro
OUCH.
That hurts because I know I get comparisonitis sometimes. It's hard not to when you hear about the latest seven-figure book deal or read about an indie author hitting the bestseller lists or selling their film rights.
Even if you're writing your first book as part of a local group or a college course, there will always be people you compare yourself to and you may find yourself wanting.
Watch the video below or here on YouTube.
This is an excerpt from The Successful Author Mindset. Available now in ebook, print and audiobook formats.
I was at the London Book Fair recently where agents sit in endless meetings trying to sell books to publishers across the world, and every day they announce exciting deals coming out of the Rights Center.
They also have billboard-size photos of name brand authors, the A-list movie stars of the book world. Walking beneath them, I felt like the smallest, most inadequate writer on the planet. It felt like every author in the world was doing better than I was, and yes, I was jealous of that success.
Because that's the dark side of comparing yourself to others. It can morph into jealousy, and that can turn toxic.
It must be dealt with or it will eat you up inside.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela
Antidote
Start by realizing that you can only compare yourself to who you were as a writer last year. We are all at different points on the writer's journey and we only ever hear the highlights in the media.
We don't know what happened to that suddenly-famous debut author before their breakout book and we might be mistakenly comparing ourselves to someone who has been ghostwriting under another name for ten years, or have five novels that were rejected before the one that hit big.
This is why I like blogging, as I can look back at where I was over the years and track the change – in my writing craft, my income and book sales, my platform and my knowledge.
Even if you just journal once a year, it's worth doing to track changes over time and turn comparisonitis into a positive way for you to measure progress.
If you feel the pull of comparisonitis or even jealousy, recognize that feeling and be aware of it. If you know how you feel, you can control your behavior.
I've seen some authors damage their reputations by attacking others' success and it's ugly. One author wrote an article calling for J.K. Rowling to stop writing because she'd had her success and it was time to let others have a turn.
But first of all, Rowling is a writer. She will write and as a fan of her later Robert Galbraith books, I'm glad she continues to do so.
Secondly, this is a poverty mindset, the thought that there are only a certain number of readers or amount of money in the world and that one author's success takes away our own potential future.
But that's not true.
So let's try to reframe comparisonitis and the edge of jealousy into something that can actually help us become better writers.
If you find someone who triggers that feeling, research that author's background. Read their book/s.
- How long have they been writing?
- What did they do to get to where they are?
- How can you emulate them and use their example to further your own craft and author career?
You could even turn what you learn into a blog post or journal entry or add items to your To Do list.
If I read a book by an author I have been jealous of and I like it, I'll always promote it to my own audience in the ultimate reversal of jealousy.
Celebrate the success of other authors and it will make you a happier writer, plus it will build your network over time.
“Stop looking at what other people are doing and look at what you're achieving. Stop looking sideways, look at where you're going.” Jocelyn Glei, Manage your Day to Day
This is an excerpt from The Successful Author Mindset. Available now in ebook, print and audiobook formats.
